Giving Back

Once upon a time, I made a lot of choices. Some were good but most were selfish and wrong. I have spent hours trying to get beyond my past. I find I often look at the choices I made and try to make new ones, not the same old mistakes. I try. And when I can I try to make choices which help.
  I have a family, who loved me when I was horrible, who loved me when I made some of the worst choices in my life. I was not a nice person. I did not think of other people when I made choices. I raced through their lives like a hurricane, and later owed them great apologies. I have started my journey back, but I owe them more than I can ever repay. 
  Suddenly I have chance to help out, and I am so grateful for the chance. I have talked to my partner and we have agreed this can work. It will be a little harder on my family, but it not only is a chance to repay a tiny tiny piece of my debt. It also helps someone who needs it.
  This is one of those moments when I am grateful for all the forgiveness, and the chance to give back.

What are you afraid of?

Once upon a time, I was afraid. I had been hit and I was very afraid that I would always be hurt when I got close to anyone. But today I feel less fear. Now I want to teach my children how to live in a world that feeds fear from the first breath. If you go to a high school in down town  there is a very good chance you will have to walk through a metal detector to get to your classes. Every month there is another story where a school has been shot through. The news is full of vicious dogs who eat small children. Police officers who randomly race through crowds stomping people, shooting "innocent" bystanders.
This life is the most fearful life we live.
 How do you stop the fear? How do you get your children to step outside of the fear and learn to behave with courage, and joy.
  It is not an easy thing to do. The first thing we teach our children is no, things hurt. They learn things hurt, so they don't do little things. Then they learn about the bad people, people who to want to take them away from mommy and daddy.
  This is the life we live on a daily basis, and we have to find a way to live safe, without living in fear. I love my children, and I want them to be safe, but I also want them to be not afraid to cross the street. As our world grows more and more lawless it becomes harder and harder to teach our children to live courageously. There is a way, finding it is hard.