Guilt and the Parent

  Parental Guilt is such a horrible painful sight. It eats at us. It makes us question the choices we are making, how good of a parent we are,  makes us grumpy and everyone miserable.


  For those of you who know me personally, you know I have spent the last 2 weeks in the heat of Las Vegas. I have nothing against the sun, but the dry desert heat is not what I would call a vacation. Good thing, this isn't my vacation.
  I am helping my brother babysit his daughter. I offered my help when I found his wife was on bedrest. The doctor put her on bedrest as she is trying to have their second child early, much too early. She is at 31 weeks, and she has been having contractions for the last 2 months. The doctor put her on medication, told her to go to bed, and to stay put. She has made three trips to the emergency room since then.

  My adopted mom has been babysitting all week long for the previous 5 weeks, then going to work all weekend long. My brother works all week long, 12+ hour days, and then comes home and helps take care of his daughter and wife. My mom was worn out, my brother stressed out.

  So I came down to help, its what family does. My sister-in-law like all mothers, is feeling guilty. She isn’t cooking, cleaning and taking care of her family, therefore she must not be doing her job. Right? Wrong!! How is it we as mothers feel so guilty when we can’t do what we believe is our job. My brother continues to be stressed as my sister-in-law wants him take all the work off my shoulders the minute he gets home, so I am not overworked. She feels bad, I had to leave my family and come to take care of her family.

  I understand, I have been on bed rest, I couldn’t take care of my family, I felt worthless, lazy and guilty. It is my opinion the guilt bone needs to be removed from the bed ridden parent. If we could remove that bone, that single little bone, then perhaps we would find it easier to get well, take care of ourselves, and by doing so, take better care of our families.